There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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