Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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