Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
