Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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