I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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