Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
