ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
