Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
