Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
