You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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