ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she was so not down for the gang bang
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
