Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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