it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
