How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wanna go halves on a baby?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
