I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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