Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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