Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
