I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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