what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
