Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
