lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
