she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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