What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I would fuck him just for his dog
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
