one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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