you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
