We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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