He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize