I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
