sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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