He is such a slut. More and more my type.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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