if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize