Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Couch. On fire.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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