if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
