she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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