so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
