Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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