Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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