Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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