The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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