Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
