why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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