well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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