how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
