A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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