if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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