The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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