someone owes me an orgasm
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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