I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
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I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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