okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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