Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
