doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
