we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
