I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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